Feeling rather random. The sky is blue, my jacket is green, and I am enjoying the sights and sounds of the Student Union on a Tuesday at 5pm, while happily sipping a fresh brewed coffee from Starbucks.
It is much needed coffee. Exhaustion doesn’t even sum up how I feel currently. School, life, people, expectations, gah! I am hanging on to something, not really sure what, but at least it is there. I am overwhelmed by the consequences in my current life, and with a pessimistic attitude things do not seem to be loo .king up, not that I should expect them to.
Leslie is still in the hospital, which is definitely taking more of a toll on me than expected. Crohn’s disease is an ugly thing. I am bombarded with guilt and sorrow for what she is going through, and the thought that put myself through the grief on a daily basis that she has no choice but to face for life.
Speaking of my poor decisions… I feel like a lost puzzle piece. I know there is something missing, but I have no idea where to find it. Things are not looking very good for the time being.. My body is now paying me back for the two years of hell that it has endured. Physical complications are becoming more prevalent and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. But the worst thing is that I have managed to put myself in a position where I feel like I can not turn around. At least not as quickly as I wish I could. Complications require action that push me right back onto the sick cycle carousel. I need to stop paying to ride.
I think there may be a relationship on the horizon.. **spoiler alert** more to come on that topic in future posts :))
I have decided that a majority of accountability is crap. Not really sure what to do with that new found knowledge.
Let me wrap this up with I am done with school. This current post is aiding me in the procrastination of several papers I need to be focusing energy toward, but I do not really have the energy to do so. Ha! Story of my life. It’ll get done though.
Keep it real. And remember: in the next seven days, 800 people will be injured by their jewelry.